The Truth Shall Set You Free – Part One

Many people have said this.  This phrase or its variation (The truth will set you free) is in several places in the Bible.  I don’t know how many sources could be cited here.  But,  for me – here goes.

There are two truths that I want to talk about here.  First, in my last BLOG, I reported that two employees at the Safeway store that I like and want to use told me that Safeway no longer has Safeway gift cards because of fraud.  I decided to verify that information with another Safeway store close by my home, and guess what.  It is only fair to set the record straight.  When I asked Maria (one of the store’s clerks) about this information of not having the gift cards, she said that it was absolutely not true.  She directed me to the location of the cards that I needed.  I was so pleased to see that the error of the other store’s employees was corrected.  I will, however, continue to patronize the second store.

Second, I think I have come to grips with one of my medical situations.  Tinnitus.  (And, I am compelled, here, to make this statement.  The word is to be pronounced tin eye’ tus [with a long i in the middle, accent on the middle syllable], not tin’ it us [with a short i in the middle].  And, if you look in the American Heritage Dictionary, you will see that there is no second pronunciation listed, as there are with some words, giving the speaker the option to use both.  So, that TV doctor is wrong, wrong, wrong!)  And, there you have my rant for this week.

Anyway, my tinnitus has at least two components.  One is the sound of whining, high-pitched and continuous.  But, not all of the time.  That part doesn’t seem to bother me much.  Most of the time, I can ignore it.

But, the other – the sound that really has bothered me a lot is the sound of a diesel engine at idle.  And, it is accompanied by a vibration.  In my feet.  In my seat when I sit in a chair.  It has been close to driving me crazy!!!  To the point of nausea.  And, crying.

This sound is not always with me.  It is usually prevalent during the early and late evening hours.  When I am my desk, it seems as though the sound is just outside of my window.  Or, coming from the adjacent room.  I go outside to see if there is something making the sound.  There is none.  No hot tub motor.  No cars or trucks passing by.  No distant train.

I look the house over.  In the basement.  Nothing running there.  Not the washer or the dryer (I surely would have known they were operating because only I would have started them).  Not the freezer.  No fans.  The water heater is gas powered – no sound there.

Upstairs.  Not the refrigerator.  Not the dishwasher.  Not the oxygen concentrator – I turn it on when I retire.  No ceiling fans.  No floor fans.  No CPAP machine running.

I even ask other people to tell me if they hear and feel the sound.  No.  “It’s just in your head,” they offer.

Of course, I don’t want it to be in my head.  I AM NOT CRAZY!  But, I still hear the sound.  It feels as though I’m living in an alternate universe!

On our journey to Texas to see the eclipse, Daughter #1 and I stayed our first night in a motel.  As you may know, I usually go to bed about midnight.  The sound and vibration as I watched TV was more pronounced that night than I can ever remember it being.  So, I went to bed about midnight, but felt the bed vibrating so much that I could not sleep.  Maybe, it’s a reefer truck with a motor running to keep the truck cooled.  None were there.  Maybe, it was the heating system in a basement below my room.  Finally, by 3 a.m. I was so tired that I did go to bed and, finally, fell asleep.

In Texas, I stayed with sister Clara.  I did not hear the sound or feel the vibration.  Good, I thought, this means that there must be something in my house at home that is causing this problem.  That night in the motel was a fluke.  Bad weather with the possibility of three-inch hail kept us in Texas one day longer than planned.  That last, extra night, the sound and vibration returned with a vengeance.  It had followed me to Texas.  Ugh!  It was not only at home.

Back home, I decided that if this really is in my head, I needed to know more about tinnitus.  The internet was not very forthcoming for my questions but, finally, some question I asked produced an article about the vagus nerve.

As I read through the several pages of the article, I thought perhaps this might be a clue.  It seems that this vagus nerve is named vagus because it comes from Latin and means wandering.  It is a very long nerve (the longest nerve, actually), starting at the skull and apparently wandering through every part of the body.  Lungs.  Kidneys.  Digestive system.  Heart.  Eyes.  And, ears.  All of the way to the toes.  So, it wanders throughout the body impacting all areas of it.  If the web article is even partially correct, there is some research being done about the problem.

I made an appointment with my PCP to discuss this issue of tinnitus and the vagus nerve.  I asked him what he knows about the vagus nerve.  He said, “Nothing.”  Apparently, this nerve is very allusive, and there are only four physicians in the United States who seem to be knowing a lot about it.  He gave me two local doc’s names to contact and pursue this matter further.  “But,” he warned.  “It will take a long time to get in to see either of them.”

I told him to “Never underestimate the power of the teacher voice when needing to make a medical appointment;”  I went home and called one of the numbers.  Ten minutes later I had an appointment with Dr. Feehs, close to my home; the appointment is for the last Monday of this month – thirteen days away.  Not months.

I know I’m not the only person who deals with this issue.  A friend told me that her tinnitus is crickets.  Crickets!  Maybe, hearing a diesel engine running is better.

Typing this BLOG article, I have no idea what the outcome of that appointment will be.  But, my head now says, I’m am working on this problem; I’m making some effort to figure out what this is.  I’m not questioning where the sound is coming from.  It is not part of my house.  it is not part of my sister’s house.  Apparently, it is in my head.  AND, I’M NOT CRAZY.

It seems, though, that I must be considering this activity as positive.  I still hear the sound.  I still feel the vibration.  It is not as disturbing to me as before.  I feel better about the situation.  And, I do feel freer about dealing with this.  Maybe, this truth has set me free.  What do you think?

Only time will tell if this can possibly be alleviated.

Be Safe and Be Well
The Cranky Crone
Thoughtful comments are appreciated.