Now that I’m old – yes, I’m old. Anybody who is eighty-six years old is OLD. I’m starting to realize there are things that I can’t do any more. Things that were easy before are very difficult now, or impossible! Years ago, when I had the first compression fracture, there were so many things I could not do in that brace intended to keep bones in place while the healing progressed. I made a list of all of the things that I could do, printed a very large copy of those things and hung it on the wall so I would have to pass it every day.
This is a list of a different kind. It is a list of what I find I cannot do as an OLD person. Maybe, there will be something somebody will suggest that will help me do them again. Be prepared. It’s not pretty.
The first thing I think about is that I can’t get onto the floor or down low enough to retrieve missing things from under the bed. Sometimes, even extending the Swiffer handle full length doesn’t help me pull things into the area where I can see them. I have to be especially careful when dealing with my hearing aides; don’t drop them – they bounce – under the bed, under the night stand, somewhere they cannot be found. I usually work with them over an open, shallow drawer in the night stand. Cleaning them. Installing a new battery. I have to be really careful.
I’m thankful that Larry put pull-out shelves in the kitchen cabinets. I would never be able to reach canned or boxed goods in the back of those cupboards without the pull-out shelves/drawers.
Books have been my life. Now, I can’t read the small print that most books are printed in. Large print books are okay. But, there are not enough of them. And, have you ever been able to read the instructions on pill bottles? Especially, those OTC bottles? It’s worse now than before.
I love to drive. Today’s driving is limited to daylight and slow-speed streets. No night time or dusk driving for me. You can credit macular degeneration with that problem. I can drive during the daytime and in town. What that means is, when I want to go to a suburb that is north or west or east of the my town, I take town streets – no highway or interstate driving for me. If I want to attend my once-a-year rock club banquet or the silent auction of rocks and minerals at night, I always need to ask a friend or relative to drive me there. Of course, it’s wonderful to have that person join me at the banquet and in the auction hall. But, I don’t want to burden them once a month to attend the night-time meetings. So, I don’t attend.
Cooking for crowds has always been a joy for me. Give me fifty or so people, or even six around a table, and I’ll cook my heart out for them. I don’t “cook” any more. I make food, but that’s not cooking. And, of course, I’m thrilled and thankful that Meals-On-Wheels delivers a very nourishing meal every week day. It has been great getting to know those volunteers who deliver – a different person for each week day.
I never walk any distance, any more. Inside my house, around the grocery store – those are my walking areas. Yes. Although I can walk on the treadmill, it’s not the same as walking the streets of the mountain town at Christmas during their Festival. It’s hard, but I’m still able to do it, using my cane, of course, for that distance.
I’ve suspected for a long time that my days of sewing stuff may be at an end. Years ago, sixty-five to be exact, I purchased the latest and greatest sewing machine. A 730 Record Bernina. A glorious machine that was only “in the shop” one time and made so many things during its life. Baby clothing. Receiving blankets for newborns. Clothing for my three daughters. Sweaters. My own clothes. And suits for Larry. Do you remember the “Leisure Suit.” Fashionable in years past, it was even okay for business. I could mend stuff – clothing, table cloths, whatever needed mending. We didn’t wear clothing to shreds in those days – we repaired them.
I attempted this week to make some receiving blankets for newborn babies. One who is already here. Another, soon to be born. I can’t see to thread the needle! Daughter #1 capably assisted with the needle threading allowing me to work the machine to straight stitch the edges of the blankets. I would never be able to make a garment, today. Even if I had a needle-threading Leprechaun in the room.
I’m not allowed to cut my grass or run the snow blower. Not that I ever did that, but I would have tried. My great neighbor and my Wednesday morning helper do that.
Sometimes, I don’t try to go to the market to buy groceries. So, I order them. On-line. Then, I pick them up at the appointed time. This is not always successful. Sometimes, it’s just nice to walk the aisles of the store – you know, to see if there is something new that I can’t live without.
Then, whether I bring home goods that have been ordered on-line or that I’ve personally selected, they all have to be put away. Three days – THREE DAYS – that’s how long it sometimes takes me to get them put away. It is put some away, sit and rest, and put some more away. This goes on for some time. I can remember when I could put them all away on the same day – in a very short time.
I realize this has been a litany of some of the things that concern me about aging, and I could go on and on and on. I do think about those things that I can still do, aging be damned. So, here is a list of those. I can – – –
Live alone. Make my bed and change the linens as needed. Do the laundry (downstairs and up to get that done). Make food for myself – as I said, I don’t “cook.”
Care for “ my dogs” who come on an occasional basis to stay with my while their moms and dads travel. Take the dogs to the back yard so they can, if they want to, chase the indestructible herding balls or the tennis balls thrown with the help of the “thrower.” Be sure they have water, meds (if necessary), tummy rubs, and help them greet visitors at the front door.
I can drive my car around the town to get to appointments and go to other things that are needed. I can serve as the secretary to my local retired teachers’ organization. I can go out to eat with friends (even though, they may have to drive). While I can’t clean all of my house, I can keep some of it clean.
I can write this blog, stories for children and work with my children’s-stories writing coach, poetry and take great workshops about writing poetry, as well as having a poetry writing coach, letters to my people in congress or my state’s legislature and the governor. I can send and receive e-mail. I can keep in contact with my family. I can travel to other states with my daughter who drives.
Those are, frankly, some of the things I deal with in my old age. Hassles, joys, accomplishments. I guess that old age may not be too bad, after all.
Be Safe and Be Well
The Cranky Crone
Thoughtful comments are greatly appreciated.